I took this call last night from one of our newer accounts. So new, in fact, that I know next to nothing about it. And on top of that, the caller was a VIP. When I punched his name in the database, I got this flash on my screen "VIP!! Treat Accordingly" or some such bullshit. I hate these calls cuz I get a little flustered.

Guy: Hi. I'm in Word (uh-oh, i don't know shit about Word) and I've lost my ruler..that thing at the top with the little tabs.

Me: (oh fuck) Ah, let me take a look at mine and see if I can find that for you. Could you hold on a sec?

Guy: Yeah

Me: Uh, Shawn? I don't know shit about Word.

Shawn: Look under View, then Ruler (duh)

Me: Hello, sir? Yeah, sorry about the wait. Click on View, then on Ruler.

Guy: (to his computer) Son of a bitch! (then to me) Okay, don't tell anyone I called. Don't tell anyone about this call or what it was about.

Me: Okay, no problem. It's okay, we have stuff like this all the time (plus I didn't know either)

Guy: Yeah, right. You're gonna tell all your coworkers and I'll be the laughing stock of the help desk.

Me: No, I promise I won't tell!! Believe me, there's worse calls than this.

Guy: Okay, cool. Thanks! Bye

Me: Bye

Shawn: You didn't tell him you had to ask?

Me: fuck no